My mom had an irreversible dementia. She lived in a nursing home for ten years. I was an only child so the responsibility of making sure that she was taken care of properly laid with me. During that decade I saw my mom slip into another state of being. There were, obviously, numerous life experiences. Some quite sad and others humorous in a sad sort of way. I saw my daughter, about five at the time, wipe my moms face after eating. It was a spontaneous act. No fear of being near an ill person (no shells got in her way!). The human condition is an amazing thing.
One of these experiences was the inevitable and you're never really prepared for it. One day I received a phone call from the nursing home. I was told that she was being taken to a hospital emergency room. When I got their, an emergency room physician informed me that my mom had had a heart attack. She was moved to a hospital room. I met with two other doctors who discussed with me the available options for treating my mom. Heart surgery was one of them and they didn't know what the outcome would be. However, surgery or no surgery, they didn't think she would make it to the next day. It was my responsibility to make the decision of what to do. I didn't want my mom to suffer any longer. So there would not be any surgery. The doctors thought that I made the best choice for the situation.
Though she never regained consciousness, not only did she make to the next day, she was with us for 11 more days. She slept most of the time. She passed away on the 12th quietly and peacefully.
I let go of my mom by opting not to have a surgery the doctors didn't know whether it would save her. I broke some shells.
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